its been tooo lonngg haha...no seriously i need to do an update. get some things off my chest...but where to start???
A very dear person passed away last weekend...Chris's dad...Mitch Poole and we all love and miss him...i wont elaborate because i know that erin aka panda will...and because i dont wanna be upset or upset anyone...
ok next this past weekend i went to louisiana. it was me, chris, panda, josh, and amanda....Amanda is Josh's new girl shall we say.. and she is awesome haha. she is not preppy like kristi. she is pretty...and she is laid back and its fun haha...
anyways me and erin went and stayed at the hotel and chris and the other two went to the club. Let me tell you he came home tore up and was emotional as ever i mean wow. he was happy then sad then happy then mad and it was funny in a way but it was sad...he told me that he loved me and always will and he never wants to lose me..the sad thing is the drunks tell the truth so i know he has never cheated on me now and that he truly loves me...
I got erin drunk for the first time this weekend haha and it was the shit she didnt drink much but we had a blast since the other three had left again. i mean woowwww haha we were singing and dancing and its been a while since i had a girl that is that close to me. we went to the pool and were afraid of falling in even though it wasnt deep. we went to the water park before that and there were cuuutttee life gaurds and i got stuck in the lazy river.
I am still currently trying to find a job to no avail because its not easy...and im in a dilema with two friends kayla and chad they are datin. and they are close to breaking up...i just dont know about them two she does things to make him mad so he will start a fight then blames him because he fights...i mean grrr...why you gotta do that to each other if you so in love. and yeahhh this thing is totally long
Mrs. Panda i think you should tell kevy how you feel like that note i read haha and have you text him yet? Prolly not i know but oh well its all good. he prolly thought it was cute...
my baby is asleep haha and imma quit typing for now because i dont want this to be forever and a day long...
get back on here later...
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
in a hicktown!!!!
someone help me!!! sometimes i wonder if he really cares about me, if he really loves me or not because all he cares about is the fire department. i mean dont get me wrong its great that you are in it and i support you but DAMN there is a thing as tooo mucchhh and you have gotten there. hell even your friend says that if he has a girl that he would pay more attention to her then to the fd and hes a freaking captain!!! sorry to say it but if something happens its going to come down to me or the fd. and i love you and i dont want to lose you but...yeahh...
Next order of buisness a job...i need one and hopefully i got one..i had a first interview today and now im waiting on the second one...hopefully its a good thing cuz i really need this job i mean really. i need the money for a car and a place of my own.
im sooo tired of rain i mean gahhh....haha
erin wont get drunk without me i would have to beat the tree down haha....ill type more later im doing my hair right now....
hate me if you want to, love me if you cann
Next order of buisness a job...i need one and hopefully i got one..i had a first interview today and now im waiting on the second one...hopefully its a good thing cuz i really need this job i mean really. i need the money for a car and a place of my own.
im sooo tired of rain i mean gahhh....haha
erin wont get drunk without me i would have to beat the tree down haha....ill type more later im doing my hair right now....
hate me if you want to, love me if you cann
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Update on my life weather its bs or not
yeah so heres how things go...
I told you things would not work out but did you listen to me? no you didnt because you think im dumb...well guesse what i was right do you feel dumb now? of course not thats not you at all you just want him back. even if he did spend 5000 of your money that was suppose to go to helping your life!!!
but tonight is not about ranting and raving its about hurting...and loving....
i dont like crying i really dont but i have not choice. i have lost almost all of it. i can no longer talk to you when they are around and you dont know how much that hurts me. thats like you have to hide your relationship from everyone. im your niece i should be able to talk to you when need be. FUCK them they are stupid but if you want it that way *looks away* then so be it. ill sit in the corner and wait for my name to be called. the day when you say heyyy i remember my niece whom i love and i wanna talk to her...i just want you to know that i love you and i will always love you no matter what happens.....
imma quote shinedown- " tell my mother tell my father ive done the best i can to make them realize this is my life i hope they understand. im not angry im just saying sometimes goodbye is a second chance" this is soooo truueee and most dont realize it...haha i have had to say goodbye to so many people weather it was for a death or just because of family...
I cant wait till this weekend it should help mee sooo much and i truly hope that it will because i need it. Chris needs it and so do Chad and Kayla.....theres going to be all sorts of fun up there weather it rains or not haha...which the weather is freaking cool as hell i am loving it now you just dont even know.
im sooo lossttt right now it aint even funny they say dont think about it just forget it...yeah well its hard to...you have so many people turn their back on you and then the one person that you think wont do it does it...it may not be all the way but the sting is still just as bad...its ok though im made of gunpowder and lead :) and i will get through this.
my grandmother always said this wont be easy but you will be very strong one day...and you know what...shes right and i love her and everyone else no matter what happens...
Bedtime peoples....night and may the stars watch over you
I told you things would not work out but did you listen to me? no you didnt because you think im dumb...well guesse what i was right do you feel dumb now? of course not thats not you at all you just want him back. even if he did spend 5000 of your money that was suppose to go to helping your life!!!
but tonight is not about ranting and raving its about hurting...and loving....
i dont like crying i really dont but i have not choice. i have lost almost all of it. i can no longer talk to you when they are around and you dont know how much that hurts me. thats like you have to hide your relationship from everyone. im your niece i should be able to talk to you when need be. FUCK them they are stupid but if you want it that way *looks away* then so be it. ill sit in the corner and wait for my name to be called. the day when you say heyyy i remember my niece whom i love and i wanna talk to her...i just want you to know that i love you and i will always love you no matter what happens.....
imma quote shinedown- " tell my mother tell my father ive done the best i can to make them realize this is my life i hope they understand. im not angry im just saying sometimes goodbye is a second chance" this is soooo truueee and most dont realize it...haha i have had to say goodbye to so many people weather it was for a death or just because of family...
I cant wait till this weekend it should help mee sooo much and i truly hope that it will because i need it. Chris needs it and so do Chad and Kayla.....theres going to be all sorts of fun up there weather it rains or not haha...which the weather is freaking cool as hell i am loving it now you just dont even know.
im sooo lossttt right now it aint even funny they say dont think about it just forget it...yeah well its hard to...you have so many people turn their back on you and then the one person that you think wont do it does it...it may not be all the way but the sting is still just as bad...its ok though im made of gunpowder and lead :) and i will get through this.
my grandmother always said this wont be easy but you will be very strong one day...and you know what...shes right and i love her and everyone else no matter what happens...
Bedtime peoples....night and may the stars watch over you
Friday, May 1, 2009
venting and not today
forgot my blog password freaking go meee!!!
im trying to find a job and its the biggest pain in my ass that i have to put up with. Im trying all these stupid mother f-in places with no damn luck whatsoever and my bf...god help him keeps reminding me i need a job. NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!!
Next we have this fucking war thats going on thats bullshit. familes are destroyed and guys who are the sweetest ever leave and come back and they are never the same again. we love them though no matter what and have to be patient with them.
On a good note i got to see and talk to my friend over in iraq i miss him bunches and wish he were here everyday. and maybe one day he will be...scratch that he will be one day soon in august just a little while longer
Maybe Matt is finally growing up because he has lost all of his friends...let me leave some hints for you matt.
1. leave that bitch you call a life she will never be good for you never has been never will be. when you leave her you can have something we call a life.
2. Get rid of Randy or get him off of drugs that way maybe you two can get shit straight. even though you know he talks shit about you which i dont know why your with him.
3. get off the vitamins and get a job a good life and the babies!!! they need you grow up babe grow up.
My baby wants to do something tonight but he dont know what go figure its a guy thing haha you say anything you want they say its up to you haha go them
im trying to find a job and its the biggest pain in my ass that i have to put up with. Im trying all these stupid mother f-in places with no damn luck whatsoever and my bf...god help him keeps reminding me i need a job. NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!!
Next we have this fucking war thats going on thats bullshit. familes are destroyed and guys who are the sweetest ever leave and come back and they are never the same again. we love them though no matter what and have to be patient with them.
On a good note i got to see and talk to my friend over in iraq i miss him bunches and wish he were here everyday. and maybe one day he will be...scratch that he will be one day soon in august just a little while longer
Maybe Matt is finally growing up because he has lost all of his friends...let me leave some hints for you matt.
1. leave that bitch you call a life she will never be good for you never has been never will be. when you leave her you can have something we call a life.
2. Get rid of Randy or get him off of drugs that way maybe you two can get shit straight. even though you know he talks shit about you which i dont know why your with him.
3. get off the vitamins and get a job a good life and the babies!!! they need you grow up babe grow up.
My baby wants to do something tonight but he dont know what go figure its a guy thing haha you say anything you want they say its up to you haha go them
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