Update on my life weather its bs or not

yeah so heres how things go...
I told you things would not work out but did you listen to me? no you didnt because you think im dumb...well guesse what i was right do you feel dumb now? of course not thats not you at all you just want him back. even if he did spend 5000 of your money that was suppose to go to helping your life!!!
but tonight is not about ranting and raving its about hurting...and loving....
i dont like crying i really dont but i have not choice. i have lost almost all of it. i can no longer talk to you when they are around and you dont know how much that hurts me. thats like you have to hide your relationship from everyone. im your niece i should be able to talk to you when need be. FUCK them they are stupid but if you want it that way *looks away* then so be it. ill sit in the corner and wait for my name to be called. the day when you say heyyy i remember my niece whom i love and i wanna talk to her...i just want you to know that i love you and i will always love you no matter what happens.....
imma quote shinedown- " tell my mother tell my father ive done the best i can to make them realize this is my life i hope they understand. im not angry im just saying sometimes goodbye is a second chance" this is soooo truueee and most dont realize it...haha i have had to say goodbye to so many people weather it was for a death or just because of family...
I cant wait till this weekend it should help mee sooo much and i truly hope that it will because i need it. Chris needs it and so do Chad and Kayla.....theres going to be all sorts of fun up there weather it rains or not haha...which the weather is freaking cool as hell i am loving it now you just dont even know.
im sooo lossttt right now it aint even funny they say dont think about it just forget it...yeah well its hard to...you have so many people turn their back on you and then the one person that you think wont do it does it...it may not be all the way but the sting is still just as bad...its ok though im made of gunpowder and lead :) and i will get through this.
my grandmother always said this wont be easy but you will be very strong one day...and you know what...shes right and i love her and everyone else no matter what happens...
Bedtime peoples....night and may the stars watch over you