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So today ive decided to write in this color because it shows somewhat of my mood. to me red can mean love which i am in love. it can mean rage which i am deff in a state of right bout now. it can mean alotta things and it just describes me. i miss erynn i wish we were still hanging out all the time and yet i cant seem to tell her how i feel so if she reads this lol. i miss our friendship but i hate that once nick came around it seemed like you were ignoring me there were alotta days you didnt even tell me you were down and i coulda used someone to talk to.
depression everyone thinks they have it and i know i do i mean why else sit there and cry at night because of what people say or do. or the fact you cant find a job and you really want one. or the fact you feel like you lost someone important and now your hearts not in the right place. i know you were mad at me for halloween night but he offered and you shoulda told me hell right now me and her aint even talking. she will always be a back burner to me and you i mean look what weve been through and no im not in love with you im just saying lol.
on to other things. jobs im not getting right now because the world suxs like that and andrew my fiances brother will be home soon and i cant wait its been forever. randy is really excited he misses him alot and i can see why theyve been apart far to long.
wanna know a little secret? i like cheese lmao. dont ask i think imma get arieles on here so we can blog back and forth like we used to hell maybe even have erynnn join us i mean its been forever we need to just come back to tk and all meet up again.
i just noticed i use the word forever alot lol how stupid is that. my heads spinning and im shaking maybe the bc powder wasnt a good idea lmao. idk i needed to get rid of my headache and i did well at least till this bull started back up and now its all downhill again yayyy
oh and as for arkansas that happened for a whole week and i could not take it i mean the yelling everyday that would drive me insane and now im back in texas and loving life getting married soon and i couldnt be happier. most people are like you wont ever get out but i know one day deep in my heart i will get outta texas and travel the world randy for sure wouldnt not do it he wants to go to japan and i wanna go to russia so we have to study up on some of the languages hahaha...any comments let me know xoxo

Gahh its forever and a day before i get back on here i swear. so yeah time for some typing :).
to start with randys keyboard? yeah it still suxs ass lmao and as for alabama haha not happening...see i have this really good guy in my house right now named randy known him for ten years been dating him for three months and he decided that i was not aloud to go to alabama with casey. noo not in a bad controlling way but in a sweet im drunk and always loved you way. please stay here dont put me through the pain of loosing you. so yeah anyways
i get to drunk one night in the begining and go to chris blah blah blah itll always be used against me yesss i know this im not a complete idiot. but neways we get over this roadblock and hit a bout twenty more
now we have decided to take off and move to arkansas. him in a day and me following him up there in like four days. along with us will be the awesome mattman (aka matthew future brother in law), his somewhat annoying but been friends for awhile with roadblocks ashley, and there two wonderful daughters ellie and chloe. we are going into a two bedroom house and one bath. yeah six of us are going in that house...do you think itll work?
we dont know bout this so we have the plans for building on making tons of money and owning a mountain bahahahah then after that i can drag my luna (aka erynnn) up there so i dont have to loose her. she can be a play toy haha nahh i love that chika. then we will get my sister kara up there just because i have a psycho family and yeah i dont want her goin through the shit i did...oh wait she allready is..
<= this is a picture of my amazingly sweet boyfriend and his son vincent. yes i knew he had a son i will forever love him and his son and hate the bitch of a mom...yeah i just said that yes im like that. he is a year old and cute as ever esp when he says dad. the dragger is that we have to leave him here until we can win him over with other people then itll be a happy family. with vincent me randy and victoria...oh wait i didnt mention that..i may be prego..yeah trip out all you want i am happy and i wanna have a child sue me. but yea this pic is absoultly cute it just looks like they are arguing over who did something bad. which i imagine in the future will be how itll really happen. my stomachs rumbling but im sick :(. i get to see my grandma today for the last time for a little while sad day. i love her so much and i know ill miss her. shes the only one that has stood by me through it all family wise. ill maybe get to see my sisters saturday which is going to hurt i know. last time jessica said she hated me so this will probably result in me crying and what not. my mom who wants nada to do with me wants me not to move. ive been thinking bout why and then i rememberd that she prolly wants whats best for my sisters and thats me being near. but its only eightish hours away ill be able to visit.
i see erynn for one of the last times tommorow ill miss that chika more then anything. seems like shes the twin sister ive never had and i never get to tell her how much i really appreciate all that shes done for me. i know im leaving alot behind but i should be gaining some. i mean im starting a family in the mountains ill be able to visit and who knows maybe they can visit me one day :(? im happy yet sad about all this scared that something will go wrong with me and randy. worried bout it all..i know hes giving up alot but what if im not that girl? what would i do then
well i guesse imma get some sleep randys keyboard continues to suck i think ill buy him a knew one. update ya later. *kisses*
anya aka deathangel

sitting here trying to find myself

ok so its been like forever and a day since ive blogged but i think its bout time to. if you are reading this and you dont like how i spell i really dont care dont read it :D.

soo my amazing boyfriend chris, yeah we are no longer together. he spent so much time at the fire department and never had the time for me anymore. he had this bad habit of drinking and loosing his temper. if hed just change that we might be ok but you never know. anyways long story short i moved out i dearly miss tk in a way esp erynnnn.......i moved back in with my parents and within a month got kicked out
is there a record for that? cuz if there is i think i broke it :D
see my moms a bitch and i met a new guy casey. er maybe remet we grew up together his cousin is my ex and get this shit dating my sister now. he was trying to be my daddy and my mom was like well this aint your house he has a right. i say FUCK THAT SHIT i think its time to get randi a new keyboard cuz this one sticks :P
casey is an amazing guy hes taking me to alabama to meet his mom but then of course chris was great and had a few things bad. and sean was a great guy hed do anything for me well haha until casey got aholda him now he dont even wanna talk anymore cuz he couldnt keep his fucking promise ughhh men...haha
casey has a brother pat (short for patrick) and him and erynn are getting along realllyyy well its kinda cute. he never looses his smile after talking to her and he got out at a red light just to kiss her we were like awww!! the look on erynns face pricelesss i wish i woulda had the camera she blusheed she dont know she did but she did :D
im not writing much cuz i gotta fix the pool and become a lobster. ill elaborate more later
for now kissseessss :*